Cincom Expert Access Blog

Happy New IT Year!

Well, here it is; another new year and another article about what might happen in the next twelve months.  2006 is circling the drain like a soggy, burnt out cigarette butt and 2007 is banging on the door like a landlord looking for the rent.

I thought it would be fitting and proper for me to share my own predictions about the coming year and what we can expect in the wacky world of information technology.  After all, I’ve been running on for a while now about how things ought to be.  So, now it’s time to put my money on the table and show you want a smart guy I really am by predicting the future.

Without further delay, here are my 10 predictions.  I predict . . .

1)    That all of the laptops that have gone missing over the last few years will be found in a large boiler room call center operated by Jimmy Hoffa.   

2)    That there will be a headline story in ComputerWorld about a company that actually finishes an SAP implementation project on-time and under budget.

3)    That St Anthony of Padua will sue Magellan, Tom Tom and Garmin for patent infringement because they all employ unlicensed “Tony, Tony look around, something’s lost and must be found” technology in their GPS systems.   

4)    That a freak phone company accident will cause all inbound phone calls placed to Microsoft’s customer support center to be mis-routed to the Room Service extension at the Hays, Kansas Holiday Inn.  This error will go undiscovered for several months.

5)    Microsoft will win a prestigious industry citation for “most improved” customer service.

6)    IBM will introduce a new line of z Series servers called the “Side by Side” series.  Like previous z-Series boxes, these will feature a Linux side and a z/OS side.  But, the new models will be equipped with in-door ice cube & cold water dispensers.

7)    Congress, confused as usual about all things related to IT, will pass an act designed to protect the family server farm.

8)    Bill Gates, Scott McNealy and Larry Ellison will each separately announce that users of the other’s technology all have undisclosed balance sheet liabilities related to the use of their intellectual property.  Lawyers around the planet will rejoice.  

9)    Motorola will introduce a fountain pen / cell phone.  It will be called the Napoleon Solo and will work by voice command.  “Open Channel D, Worldwide Relay” will activate the dialing feature.  Robert Vaughn will announce that Motorola has an undisclosed balance sheet liability.

10)     In response to the large numbers of missing laptops, the market will demand heavier more bulky devices.  American Tourister will introduce a 75 lb laptop integrated into a clamshell steamer trunk.

Happy New Year!   From MIPS, Pixel and Lou